Wrecking Throught Hogwarts
by Draform
Summary: Something of a costory to Slytherin's Harshest Defeat. See how Ranma and his group cope with Hogwarts, while the school tries to do the same with the new students.


Hiya everyone! The name will be Draform for you people. If you read "Slytherin's Harshest Defeat", you'll notice that it's been reposted under my writer's name. The reason is quite simple: I am the one who actually wrote it in the first place. If you don't believe me, you can ask Aylam herself, she'll confirm this.

In any case, this little thing will be another "story" about the crew from Ranma ½ wrecking havoc in Hogwarts. It's not really a sequel to SHD, more like a parallel set of events taking place during actual classes in the school of witchcraft and wizardry.

A little early warning: it's going to center on Ranma ½ characters for the most part. Harry Potter characters WILL be there, but will rarely be at the center of the action. Also, they may very well be out of character. You've been warned.

So now I actually present you the result of my latest bout of delirium:

Wrecking through Hogwarts!

A Ranma ½ - Harry Potter one-shot crossover

A new school year had begun at Hogwarts' school of witchcraft and wizardry.

And like every year, new students, all aged 11, came into the great hall, among the tables hosting the four houses and the teachers, to be sorted into either of the four groups.

But today, things were different.

As the last first-year was sorted into his house by the patched hat known as "Sorting Hat", a group of people still remained at the entrance of the immense room. The group consisted of three males and five females, all of asian origins, all teenagers or almost. They were watching over the tables with expressions ranging from trepidation to apparent boredom.

A tallish man with long white hair and matching beard, wearing colorful robes and little half-moon glasses, stood from his seat in the center of the teachers' table. Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of the prestigious magic school, had an announcement to make.

"Dear students, this year, we will be welcoming students from abroad. These young people are from Japan, and part of a program destinied to reinforce cooperation between wizards from different countries. I wish for you all to make them feel welcome and to use the occasion to expand your views of the world!" Well, that's the official reason... Now, these people should bring enough entertainment to keep the students' minds off of him, he of the pale skin and red eyes... 

As with the first-years only minutes earlier, professor Mac Gonnagal stood beside the Sorting Hat, a list of the youths' names at hand.

"Hibiki Ryoga!"

A black-haired young man, clad in a yellow shirt, black pants and wearing a yellow bandanna with black spots, started to walk toward the apparently crumbling hat on it's stool. Only, after a few steps, the youth swerved to the left, toward the Ravenclaw table, for no apparent reason.

"Hey! Wrong way pig-boy!" yelled a boy with black hair done in a pigtailed. Every student blinked at the side-tracked boy and at the one who had just insulted him.

"RANMA! Don't call me that!" the boy growled, turning to face the offender.

"Pay attention! You were about to leave for China!" Ryoga started to fume, seemingly about to attack the other boy, until Ranma was sent to the floor by a vicious punch from a short-haired girl.

"Why do you always pick on Ryoga-kun? Forget about Ranma-baka, just get sorted, okay?"

The eternally lost boy blushed before making his way to the Sorting Hat, this time without ending at the Gryffindor table beforehand, while the students stared at the twitching boy on the floor and at the girl who had put him there and now was trying to look innocent.

Finally, Ryoga sat on the stool, the patched hat on his head. He was startled to hear a voice in his head. 'Hmm... What have we here? You can be pretty sneaky when you need to; but not too smart, are you? Loyalty is there, and bravery too. So, there's only one house for you!' "Gryffindor!" yelled the hat.

The Gryffindor table applauded their newest member, and Ryoga headed there... Making a stop at the Slytherin table on the way. (Remarkable feat, when you consider the two tables are at opposite sides of the great hall...)

Professor Mac Gonnagal slapped her hand on her face. This one is going to be trouble. I can just feel it... She recovered her bearing and read the next name. "Kuonji Ukyou!"

A pretty girl with long brown hair done in a ponytail left the group to reach the stool and hat. What caught the eye of the students about her was the huge spatula strapped to her back. She reached the stool without the problems her predecessor had and doned the hat. 'Rather well rounded person now.' Said the Sorting Hat in the depths of her mind, 'A single minded pursuit of cooking and this Ranma person. Not very sneaky, nor interrested in knowledge. You're better off to...' "Gryffindor!"

Once again a round of joyous yelling welled up from the Gryffindor group as Ukyou calmly walked to sit near Ryoga.

"Mu-Tzu!"

A chinese young man with long black hair and a white robe stepped forward, walking calmly to the tall woman. Once there, he surprised everyone not from Nerima by grabbing Mac Gonnagal's hat and putting it on.

"Idiot Mousse!" yelled a curvy girl with purple hair and a tight chinese dress (which sent more than one male student into a fit of drooling). "Is teacher's hat you take! Not patched hat!"

Mousse hurriedly took off the hat from his head and gave it back to the transfiguration teacher before putting on the real Sorting Hat. Once again the magical hat prodded his personnality. 'Loyal to the one who owns your heart. Cunning as well, but not so much. Patience is not a virtue of yours, so the best choice for you is...' "Gryffindor!"

By that time, all the students were very surprised. That many new Gryffindors at once? What was going on?

After Mousse sat at the Gryffindor table, Mac Gonnagal called for Saotome Ranma, the pigtailed youth in red chinese shirt who had been pounded into the ground earlier, Tendo Akane, the short haired girl who gave said pounding, Tendo Nabiki, another young girl with short hair, though brown instead of black, and Tendo Kasumi, and young woman of 19 with a very kind expression, tainted with almost childish glee at being in a real wizard's school. Ranma and Akane were sent to Gryffindor as well, while Nabiki went to Slytherin (and her evil smirk as she sat down at their table told everyone how right the house was for her) and Kasumi was directed to Hufflepuff. Finally, the last foreign student was called.

"Xian Pu!"

The gorgeous purple haired girl in the tight dress proudly walked to the Sorting Hat, put it on and sat on the stool.

'Such a cunning mind! A great deal of viciousness too, and the drive to do anything to achieve your goals. Most remarkable. Slytherin is definetely the house for you...'

But Airen is in Gryffindor! 

'Maybe so, but you are definetely suited for Slytherin. They would allow you to reach greatness...'

Stupid patched hat send Shampoo with Airen or Shampoo shred and use as next floorcloth! 

Mac Gonnagal blinked repeatedly upon seeing the Sorting Hat develop multiple sweatdrops before yelling, in a voice that was less assured than usual she noticed, "Gryffindor!"

Shampoo sauntered toward the Gryffindor table to graft herself on Ranma's arm, leaving the youngest Tendo daughter to fume at her cheating fiance and the chinese hussy. (Disregarding the fact that Ranma was desperately trying to get Shampoo to let go of him)

The last we see of this scene are the assembled student staring dumbly as Ranma gets flattened by a mallet Akane pulled out of nowhere, as a furious cry of "Pervert!" fills the room.

**A few days later**

Students were chatting among themselves, waiting for the teacher to come in. Now was time for Transfiguration class, one of the most difficult ones for many a student. And with the beginning of a new semester, most were very nervous, wondering what extra difficult exercise Mrs. Mc Gonnagal could send their way.

The only ones not displaying as much nervousness were the foreign students, who had no idea what they were getting into, and Hermione Granger, who was more eager to learn than anything else. (Nothing new...)

A point that will be of importance later on is the fact that everyone has a glass of water in front of them.

Then the teacher came in. Mac Gonnagal was once again clad in her green robes, though she was holding her hat in her hand. Her square glasses were firmly set on the ridge of her nose. She strode to her desk, put down her hat and turned to the class.

"To those who have passed their OWLS and gotten E or better in transfiguration, I congratulate you, but remind you that it is no reason to begin slacking off and you better continue your efforts this year, because we are starting to breach the really difficult points." At this point, many whispers started, going along the lines of 'because the previous years, it was EASY stuff?'.

Glaring at the whisperers, the stern woman got everyone to settle down. "As for our foreign students..." She looked towards the group of asian youths. The pigtailed one, whom had been reported to be nearly sleeping in many classes, was paying rapt attention for once. (Hey, it might allow him to cure his curse!) The others seemed to behave as they always did. Meaning the Tendo girl was acting like a normal student, the Hibiki boy was sneaking glances at the short haired girl when not looking bored, the chinese girl doing the same with the pigtailed boy, and Mousse _trying_ to do the same with Shampoo. (without much success, as he was staring at Ron Weasley...) "I will be a bit more lenient. Just remember that transfiguration is a delicate art, and that before doing something as big as shapeshifting a human, there is much to learn. Now everyone, we begin!"

Her last sentence was said imperiously, in a way that spurned the students into a frenetic bout of activity, getting their wands ready. Of course, in such a flurry of movement, accidents are bound to happen. Especially the cold water types involving victims from Jusenkyo.

Now, considering that the infamous Neville Longbottom was right behind one Ranma Saotome, it's no surprise that the clumsy youth, in his hurry to get his wand ready, knocked the glass of cold water in front of him unto the martial artist.

Not knowing about the curses, everyone not from Nerima went wide-eyed when the pigtailed boy turn into a very pretty red haired girl. For once, Mrs. Mac Gonnagal was caught flat footed.

"Wh-what? A perfect human transfiguration? Impossible!"

Ranma looked at the strange lady nervously. "Well, you see, I've been doing that for a while and..." He was cut short.

"You've been doing that for how long?" the gray haired lady was staring at her intently.

"Err... About a year?"

Minerva came very close to the neo-girl, examining her thoroughly, freaking the cursed youth. After a few minutes of intense scrutiny, Mac Gonnagal nodded. "Indeed. A perfect human transfiguration..." She turned a small, sweet smile at the redhead, "Well, if you could do that... I guess I don't have anything more to teach you... Please leave the class while I teach you fellow students. RIGHT NOW!"

"Ah... Sure... I guess..." Ranma was a bit rattled, but she gathered her things and left the room. On the one hand she was glad to escape one class, but on the other hand she had actually been looking forward to being in it for once. (Thankfully for his grades, Ranma would get back in the class once the curses are revealed)

Ryoga and Mousse stared as Ranma was allowed to go out thanks to his curse. They weren't exactly looking forward to these lessons. So it seemed like a good idea to use their curses to get out. They would just catch up with their love's help!

Having chosen their course of action, they attracted their teacher's attention, and poured the water on their head, turning into a duck and a piglet. (Ryoga having made sure that Akane wasn't watching, or paying any attention to him)

The results were not those they had expected.

"Animagi! Are you declared?" Surprised, the two could only shake their heads negatively. They then shrank back under the muderous glare directed at them. "Class dismissed! It seems I have to get some idiots to respect rules! You two will have detention for a three weeks! Hiding such a thing..."

Class left normally, happy to have escaped two hours of mental torture, except for two teary eyed animals being carried by the scruff of their neck by an angry looking teacher. And one Akane Tendo who wondered where Ryoga was and how P-chan had gotten to Hogwarts.

As Mac Gonnagal rounded a corner, a series of quacking and squealing noises were heard, with angry overtones. If one were to speek duck or pig, they would have heard something along the lines of "Ranma! This is all your fault!"

We saw in Slytherin's Harshest Defeat that Ranma and Co. made up most of the Gryffindor quidditch team this year. But one must realize that prior to going to Hogwarts, none had ever even thought of flying on a broom. And learning to fly has not always been so easy. Some had to make lots of efforts. Bear witness to their beginnings...

It was a great day, sunny and warm with a slight breeze. The japanese students were gathered in the castle grounds to learn broom flying. Madam Hooch was watching approvingly as all managed to call their broom to their hand. Now, because they were all much older than first years, she decided to make them go on a trial flight one after the other.

"Akane Tendo, if you would?" she called.

Akane came forward confidently, broom in hand, and right off the bat sat on it, holding it firmly.

The older woman looked carefully at how the girl was handling the thing as she was hovering about a foot and a half above ground level. "Miss Tendo, you might want to change your grip on the broomstick or it will rotate."

"I'm holding it perfectly!" she replied hotly, sure that she had gotten it right on the first try. The illusion was shattered when the broom did rotate, causing the side of her head to make a painful contact with the ground. While still holding the broom tightly with both arms and legs. With the broom losing none of its altitude. (Some badmouthing people would swear her head made a sound similar to that of an empty jar hitting a table when it struck the hard ground)

Everyone blinked at the strange position Akane ended up in, while Ranma tried to hold his laughter in.

"Oookay... Mousse, care to do better?" she asked while Akane returned in the ranks, taking good care of hitting the snickering Ranma with her broomstick while rubbing her growing bump.

The blind boy came up to madam Hooch's side, settled on the broom, applied the teacher's advices and took off straigth on.

"Very nice Mousse, but watch out for the wall. Mousse! The WALL! THE..." She stopped yelling and winced in sympathy at the loud thud Mousse made when he impacted the far wall at high speed.

"Stupid duck boy should wear glasses." Shampoo snorted derisively.

"Well, miss Shampoo, your turn then."

"Shampoo show how fly with broom!"

The amazon strode proudly, settled on the broom almost perfectly on the first try, and took off like a rocket, leaving Hooch to whistle appreciatingly at the display Shampoo gave by flying a neat trajectory. "Very impressive!"

Shampoo began getting bolder in her flight, coming closer to arcades and windows. But as she was passing in front of a large window she looked at her reflection in the glass, and got horrified at what she saw. "Ayah! Wind no good for Shampoo's hair!" And vanity was her downfall, as her distraction allowed her to crash into a pillar supporting the wall.

Madam Hooch shook her head in resignation. "Another one bites the dust..." She crossed some line she had just written on her clipboard.

The others did fairly well on their own. Ranma, on the other hand, display a great deal of enthusiasm and ability at flying. He was doing really well until he decided to get too bold and began riding his broom like a surfer stands on his surfing board. Unfortunately for him, Akane yelled at him to "Stop showing off, baka!" to which Ranma couldn't help but turn to face the short-tempered girl to reply with a "At least I can fly, tomboy!". Except that, like Shampoo, the distraction was his downfall. Ranma ended meeting a balcony, in which he made a deep impression. The broom kept going without him, though...

See the problems they faced before being competent enough to play quidditch?

Of course, the problem new students face early on after their arrival in a new school is getting lost, especially when the schoolgrounds are large. Combine this factor with the fact Hogwarts tended to change a bit in its structure (stairways being the best example) and you found yourself in a situation where finding the right classroom is next to impossible for an average new student alone.

Notice that Ranma and his group are anything but average.

**Example 1: **

Class of History of Magic was just about to begin. Professor Binns, the only teacher to be a ghost in all Hogwarts, was preparing to drawl out his supremely boring lecture about long dead wizards. (Garanteed to put nearly half the student body to sleep within 20 minutes. It was so bad that some students coming from muggle families where using a tape recorder to capture his words and use them later on, whenever snoozing got difficult at night)

As he started his reading, a fairly distant noise echoed in the classroom, prompting the ghost to stop and listen with the students.

Mere seconds later, another crashing noise, louder and closer, was heard.

Finally, the wall on the right of the students exploded, debris flying off a short distance, and revealed Shampoo, looking a little sweaty and sporting a relieved expression.

"Ayah! Shampoo finally find classroom! Nihao teacher! Shampoo ready to learn!"

Professor Binns looked at her with half-lidded eyes. "Very nice miss Shampoo. Please take a seat while I take 30 points from Gryffindor for destroying school property..."

The announcement was met with depressed groans from the Gryffindor students who were familiar with the House Points system.

Of course, Shampoo merely set herself as closely to her airen as possible, meaning nearly grafting herself onto him, with a very contented smile, while Ranma was cringing and waiting for Akane's beating.

Need less to say it came quickly, earning the loss of another 15 points for such brutish display. The day was not starting well for the Gryffindor House.

Neither was the year for that matter...

**Example 2:**

Ryoga Hibiki was utterly lost.

Now, you're going to say that there's nothing new or surprising in that statement. Quite true, I'll admit.

The lost boy had been trying to reach the charm classroom for the last hour, with little success. On his way, he had found himself in a restroom where the ghost of a girl kept crying, ended up in what seemed to be a tunnel dug in solid rock. He even passed through a small shack which bared a strong smell of wolves. (Ryoga knowing that thanks to his many years of wandering the countryside)

Now, he was finally reaching a door. It was large, oaken with iron bars to reinforce it, and did not look very welcoming. Nevertheless, he opened it.

On the other side was a teacher and many students. Hopefully, he asked "Is this the charm class?"

The teacher of the class had greasy dark hair, pale skin and was wearing dark robes. Severus Snape, the potions master, walked towards the bandanna clad boy with a frighteningly calm expression.

In a low, soft voice, he said "Mister Hibiki, you are currently in the potion class, which is in the dungeons. Professor Flitwick's charm class..." at this point he was right in the lost boy's face, "IS ON THE SEVENTH FLOOR! 40 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR FOR BOTHERING ME AGAIN!" he yelled with all of his might before punting the cowering boy out of the classroom.

The upside for Snape was that his class stayed dead quiet for the rest of the session.

The Gryffindor House was the one to suffer the downside of the whole thing though.

First time for a House to be in the negatives... Of course, that's not exactly a record to be proud of, is it?

And then, there are classes themselves. Now, you would think that they'd go as smoothly as usual, wouldn't you?

Shows what you know of this group...

**Example 1:**

Charm class. Animated by professor Flitwick, a fairly popular teacher in Hogwarts, it usually went fairly smoothly if you took care to ignore the occasional charm going wrong due to an imperfect wave of the wand or a mispronounced incantation. (rumored to happen more often when clumsy students, the likes of Neville Longbottom some would say, are attending)

The students from abroad were listening to the teacher. None had really cared that one of their number, a certain blind duck, was late.

"Today, I will introduce you to a fairly useful defensive charm. _Repellium_ is its name, and you use it to throw physically somebody or something away from you. Wizards in the middle ages used it often to avoid attacks from muggle brutes. Now, to cast it, you just need to..." Flitwick was interrupted in a rather interresting manner.

One Mousse, or Mu-Tzu, erupted into the class and tackled the diminutive teacher on his stool and grabbed him in a passionate embrace. "Oh Shampoo! Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find the classroom and..." Mousse blinked, released his captive from the hug and squinted at the most recent recipient of his passion. "Shampoo? When did you get so short, stocky and hairy?"

"_REPELLIUM!_" Professor Flitwick rarely got truely angry. This was one such case. The incantation, backed by understandable fury, hurtled the hapless boy into the far wall, from which he was peeled by gravity with the sound of a band of adhesive tape pulled from a smooth surface. He still left a fairly detailed print of his body, though.

Taking a deep breath, the small man tried to cast off his anger. "Mister Mousse, I'm afraid I must take 20 points from Gryffindor, both for being late and for such words." Somehow back to normal, Flitwick turned his usual smile to the other kids in the class. "Now, I hope you have taken the time to watch how I flicked my wand to cast the Repellium charm..."

Class continued, though most students who had known the short teacher for a while had an unanimuous comment to give to the scene:

"Flitwick's scary..."

**Example 2:**

On the other hand, potion classes are not as appreciated, except by a select few. Actually, the students' opinion of the potion class ranged from "I'd rather be doing something else, but it has to be done" to a definite "Mommy! Come save me from the bad mister!" (said in a winning tone)

A great deal of the class's lack of popularity came from the teacher, one Severus Snape.

Fairly tall, with palid skin and dark greasy hair and wearing dark robes, this one was a wizard who looked fairly malevolent. Of course, most students who attended his lessons would tell you that he actually IS evil.

One of the scariest thing about the man was the fact he almost never raised his voice above the level of a whisper, that and his sarcastic comments were usually sharper than most butcher's knives. Add to this a clear dislike of most students, and one did not have to wonder why the guy was disliked this much.

But right now, the man was walking through the class, watching how students were adding the reagents to brew an antidote to a fairly painful poison.

Snape watched with satisfaction as Malfoy added well cut ingredients in the cauldron before steering vigorously, as instructed. He looked in a less appreciative manner as the young Potter boy apparently did an adequate job at following the simple steps of the preparation. A sneer formed when he saw the young Longbottom blunder his way through the whole process despite his partner's attempts to help.

He then blinked in surprise at the human whirlwind who was grossly chopping bit of mandragora roots (which did NOT figure in the list) before adding them messily, with bits of the chopping board, to the wildly bubbling purple liquid in the cauldron. Once this was done, the whirlwind grabbed several random elements and tossed them in. The mixture turned plaid.

Watching this with a resigned expression, Ranma had gotten his own cauldron on the side and mixing the ingredients, following the recipe carefully.

Snape walked up to the boy, and in a deceptively calm voice said: "Why are you not working with her? At least you seem to know how to read, so why don't you teach her?"

Ranma sighed, "You wanna try?" he asked in a resigned tone. "I tried telling her that, but she ain't listening to nobody when she goes that way. At least this time I won't be getting my stomach pumped..."

Snape blinked once at the comment. And for once let it slide.

For now...

Later on. Everyone was finished. The students were now lining up to test their antidotes on rats who had been giving the poison it was supposed to counter. Of course, just by looking at the various vials, you could tell not everyone was successful. The antidote was supposed to be colored a greenish yellow. Some groups either had the color right on the dot, like Draco's or Hermione's. Some were pretty close, like Harry and Ron, or Ranma. But a few had more exotic results. Neville Longbottom's mixture was quite green with a pinch of reddish brown.

Of course, Akane was proudly carrying a mixture that now was bright pink with aqua-blue polka-dots.

When Akane's turn came, right before her supposed teammate, Snape looked dubiously at the liquid in the vial before allowing the short-haired girl to feed it to the rat.

The poor animal went from brown-furred and suffering to plaid-furred, before jumping a full foot in the air and falling on its back, legs completely rigid, and quite dead.

Severus stared at the dead animal for a little while before turning a disturbingly calm gaze to the Tendo girl who was looking at the rat and seemed pretty miffed at the reaction her concoction had received. "Well, miss Tendo. You certainly ended its suffering. Permanently." He said softly, causing the girl to redden in embarassment. "15 points from Gryffindor for not even listening to a teacher when he talks of dangerous products."

Later, Ranma was taken an additionnal five points for not preventing his partner from doing such a blunder. He would have taken more, if not for the fact that the pigtailed boy's potion worked well-enough.

In later days, Snape would come to dread the coming of Akane in his class. The girl had the uncanny ability to never follow even the strictest guidelines, and to create things that were either poisonous, explosive, alive, or a combination of these. Quite a few students were admitted in the infirmary as a result.

... And, of course, there are the professor's appreciation of the students, directly linked to their behavior and performance in class...

**The Headmaster's office**

Albus Dumbledore was sitted at his desk, looking at his visitor with an expression of puzzlement. Said visitor was one Severus Snape, looking even paler than usual. Livid being a better word. He also had something akin to a mix of anger, awe and supplication marring his features and body language.

"Sir," the potion master began. "I want to talk to you about one of our new students..."

"Which one Severus? They seem to be doing fairly well, all things considered. I feel they adapted well enough." He offered a smile, "Even the Saotome boy, who has a reputation of not listening in class, if not downright sleeping through them at the muggle school he was in, is doing well. Quite funny this little thing about his Jusenkyo curse..."

Severus interrupted him. "This isn't about this arrogant idiot. This is about miss Akane Tendo. I want her baned from my classes! I don't want to see her at less than thirty feet from any cauldron!" His tone and face had taken a hysterical cast, and he had been yelling during the last sentence.

Dumbledore blinked at his friend. "Aren't you overreacting, Severus?"

"She's WORSE than Longbottom! At least his attempts at brewing a potion don't explode in the face of others, nor do they crawl out of the cauldrons or vials! She's a danger to the entire school! It's only a matter of time before the worse happens!"

"Now, I know that you are exaggerating..."

He was cut off when an ENORMOUS explosion rocked the entire castle. Sounds of feverish footsteps could be heard from outside the office as frightened students and concerned teachers and staff members hurried through the corridors.

"What was that?" "It came from the Gryffindor tower!" "Hurry up!"

Albus's expression turned incredulous while Severus directed a "I told you so" gaze at him.

**A few minutes earlier, Gryffindor tower**

Ranma was glad the day was over. Charm class was fairly nice, but History of Magic was even more boring than any class in Furinkan had been. Good thing the Granger girl was nice enough to allow him to go over her notes (make a magical copy and read them, hoping not to fall asleep).

Entering the Gryffindor main room after giving the Fat Lady's portrait the password, Ranma saw several students talking among themselves and pertaining to other activities. Ron and Harry were playing a game of wizarding chess. Dean Thomas was reading some sports monthly. Mousse was getting clobbered by Shampoo for grabbing her (instead of an armchair as he once did). Akane was in a corner of the room, very busy at doing _something_. Ranma went to greet her.

"Hey 'Kane! What're you doin'?"

Akane directed a cheerful smile at him, somewhat out of place with her frenetical bout of activity around what looked like a cauldron. "Oh, hi Ranma. I'm just practicing the last potion we made in class."

Ranma nodded happily and started to head away. "That's nice. Keep practic..." Ranma's words died on his lips when his mind caught up with what the short haired girl had said. Eyes wide open, an expression of panic on his face, Ranma made warding gestures. "Akane... Step back from the pot..." he said in the way one spoke to a ferocious beast about to charge.

"It's a cauldron, baka! And I've got everything under control!" Akane was annoyed at her jerk of a fiance. As if she was that bad!

Ranma's panic only increased at her words. "Akane... Drop this thing. The recipe ain't had one in it!" By that time, the discussion had caught Harry's attention, who was getting a bit panicky himself, having seen Akane's prowess in brewing potions.

Akane was now quite angry, "Ranma, I know perfectly well what was in the potion. I just need to add this..." She spilled the entire vial she had in hand in the smoldering mixture. The liquid in the vial had a disturbing green color and was bubbling on its own, giving off a fetid smell.

Seconds only after adding the last ingredient, bright light suddenly pourred from the top of the cauldron before everything went to hell.

The mixture exploded with incredible strength and a deafening detonation. Everything went white for a while. When the light faded and the smoke cleared, the scene revealed was apocalyptic.

The Gryffindor tower was gone.

Students who had been in the main room were huddled behind the shimmering force fields Ranma and Harry had conjured on reflex (having people out for your blood certainly improved your reaction time...). The teens were in various combination of fear, shock and disbelief at what had just happened. The only bits of wall remaining were the parts which had been shielded by the force fields.

Where the restrooms had been, only a lone toilet seat remained, the student sitting on it was clutching the remains of his "Dayly Prophet" newspaper with a look of complete fright on his face. He wasn't even shivering.

Akane was still kneeling on the ground, completely covered in soot, blinking owlishly at where her cauldron had been. She coughed a largish black puff of smoke before fainting from the pain of being at the center of the explosion.

Upon discovering this, Dumbledore decided to temporarily house the unfortunate students in the other houses. A third in each other great house. Akane was banished from potion classes, as per Snape's request. She was also forbidden from coming closer than 15 feet from a cauldron. (Of course, she attempted to do so several times to prove she could brew a potion too, which resulted in Gryffindor getting dozens of points docked each time she was caught)

Of course, it didn't clear all the problems.

**The next day, Slytherin common room**

As Mac Gonnagal entered the room in the dungeons to check on the students she was responsible for, she was greeted by an unbelievable scene.

The almost complete Slytherin student body was bound and gagged in the middle of their common room. Heavy chains and ropes held them still while all had a yellow bandanna with black spots stuffed in their mouths.

While she was staring at the unfortunate boys and girls, the Gryffindor students who had been sent to sleep here came in the room, accompanied by a lone Slytherin girl. Said girl had her brown hair in a short, helmet like hairstyle. Seeing them walk in, the transfiguration teacher finally managed to gather some of her wits back.

"What are they doing here, in this state?" she all but yelled at the pigtailed boy who had come the closest.

Ranma frowned as he cleared his brain of the remaining sleepiness. "Well m'dam, they kept bothering us all the time an' playin' oh so great 'cause our tower went bye-bye. So P-chan, duckboy and me really got tired of their yapping and decided to make things more peaceful." He gestured at the fuming Slytherins.

"You fought the entire Slytherin house?"

"Yeah. Were a bunch o' pushovers too. Couldn't even hit a snail with their spells..."

Mac Gonnagal blinked at the absurdity of the whole situation. Finally, prefering to forget the whole thing, she left the room without a word.

As she left, Nabiki came up to Draco Malfoy with a superior smirk. "Well Mal-chan, I took the liberty to collect on our little bet about how you could take on any Gryffindor while you were resting. I hope you won't mind if I took the liberty to pick a bit more. After all, there's nothing wrong with a guy treating a girl to ice-cream... Even if it's a bit in advance" she added as if in second thought.

Draco could only clench his fist in rage while the Tendo girl left, patting Ranma on the back and commenting how things always got interresting, and profitable, around the martial artist.

Now, any of these instances taken alone can be fairly bad for a House's score for the House Cup.

The problem for Gryffindor is that many of these happened fairly often. (Er... does once a day count as 'fairly often'?) This had the annoying, but perfectly predictable effect of leaving Gryffindor's points to make a credible imitation of a skydiver who jumped without his parachute.

Thankfully for the chances of Gryffindor (and Mac Gonnagal's nerves and heart pressure), a handful of students took on themselves to correct the matter. Though not all of them were all that willing...

**Gryffindor common room, one evening**

"You want me to WHAT!" Ranma couldn't believe what the boy with the lightning bolt shaped scar and the girl with bushy blond hair were telling him.

"You WILL help us bring Gryffindor's housepoints back up." Harry insisted, "so you're going to practice quidditch extra hard with me."

"And you're going to study ahead to answer teachers." Hermione continued.

"But why me? It's the other idiots who're making us lose all those points! Why should I be the one to do it!"

"You're the only one who's not making us lose points everyday AND who's not working all that much in the first place." Hermione's tone was matter-of-factly.

"But I'm working! I got ta practice my art everyday or I'll get soft!" Ranma was desperately trying to find his way out of studying. It wasn't HIS fault that they were losing the run for that stupid cup.

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Then study while you're doing your katas. I saw how you could concentrate on something else while doing them."

Ranma's shoulder slumped, "I really ain't gettin' outta that, am I?"

"NO!" was his answer from both of his executionners.

Thus began a modern, and scholarly version of Hercules' Labors. With the various Nerimans bringing their House's score low, (bellow zero once) the three students threw themselves into the task of keeping the Gryffindor House afloat for the coveited trophy.

Students of Hogwarts didn't see anything really out of the ordinary at first. So Harry is practicing quidditch everyday... So Hermione's even more into her books than before... Okay, she did manage to contaminate one of the new students. That pigtailed boy was spending an awfully long time on his books too. But, well, school life goes on!

The school's staff however was treated to a certain degree of frenzy. The three saviors of Gryffindor's points were everywhere to help and answer any questions, almost always perfectly right. Even Snape was stunned when he was unable to catch one of his most recent bane of his existence, one Ranma Saotome, with a vicious question. Oh, sure the boy would sleep throught the theory part, but when asked a question he would always wake up suddenly, give the answer while half-asleep, then go back to sleep. (You would too if you were forced to study most of the night, every night. Trust me, Hermione Granger is the worst taskmaster you can hope to find when she's determined enough...)

On any day, you would be able to find Dumbledore staring intently at the magical hourglass giving Gryffindor's number of points. He seemed always fascinated to see how it would take a nosedive one moment, before rising again to its previous level minutes, sometimes seconds later, before free-falling again.

On other days, a thoroughly exhausted trio would check their score, expression lighting up with happiness at having negated the blunders of some of their classmates Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Then their expression would change to panic when any amount between 50 and 100 hundred points got deducted from the score suddenly, causing them to run off in a frenetical attempt to find ANY way to bring back the lost points.

All of this was watched in puzzlements by the clueless idiots who caused the whole thing in the first place. (Ryoga, Shampoo, Mousse, Akane... you know, that kind of morons...)

Now, while any Gryffindor students appreciated the dedication of those three, they could not help but notice that this regimen yielded some strange, err... Side effects...

**Harry Potter**

Ron was talking with Dean Thomas over forgetting about his muggle sport and focus on quidditch, after all it's so much better, when he noticed Harry coming his way.

He turned to face his friend, and blinked when he noticed the state of the Boy Who Lived.

Harry was walking bow-legged, cowboy-like, and had his right arm stretched as far in front of him as it could go. His right hand was convulsively clenching and unclenching as if catching something the size of a nut.

"Err... Anything's wrong Harry?"

Harry blinked at his friend, seemingly not noticing his current state. "No. Why're you asking?"

"Well... hum... You're kinda walking funny..."

Harry blinked again. "I am?"

"Yeah. I think you're spending too much time on your broom practic..." the redheaded boy got no further before being interrupted.

"Aah! I forgot quidditch practice!" Ron and Dean could only stare as Harry hobbled as fast as he could toward the practice field. They blinked when a fly came near him and was instantly caught by a lightning fast move of his stretched arm.

"You know Ron? I think Harry's pushing himself too much..."

"You and me both pal..."

**Ranma Saotome**

Lunch. Ranma's favorite time of the day.

Whatever the circumstances, Ranma would never miss a meal. He would cut class, finish a fight instantly, crush any obstacle between himself and the food he was promised. This was one of the few aspects that made him truely similar to his father.

But today, Ranma was sleeping on his crossed arms, right in front of his plate full of food. Situation which spooked the teens from Nerima, who had cautiously moved to sit a bit further. Like the other end of the table.

A random student looked at the pigtailed boy then began to shake him awake. After several seconds of trying, he saw his housemate steer. He asked a simple question.

The answer he got was not what he had expected.

"Ah! I know sir! Manticores live in marshes and murky forests and caves! They have a deadly poison and are really agressive!" Ranma had suddenly sat straigth and begun to spout a great deal of school related materials. The Nerimans decided to hightail it out of there _pronto_.

A Ranma capable of telling that much of a lesson was a sure sign that the end of the world was coming...

The boy who had woken Ranma out blinked repeatedly. "Err... Ranma, I just asked if you wanted some chicken?" he said with an uncertain tone.

It was Ranma's turn to blink at that. "Oh. Sure." When he noticed the others staring at him, he could not help but ask, "What? I got somethin' on my face?"

Massive facefault resulted. The other houses were quite untertained to see the entire Gryffindor table do so.

**Hermione Granger**

Hermione was talking with Ginny Weasley about what was going on and why their housepoints were playing yoyo.

The younger girl made one last comment. "You know, I feel bad for Harry and Ranma. They're obviously working too hard to keep our score up. I'm glad you don't have the same problem." She did not notice the older girl's unconfortable expression.

Then, as they passed the corner of a corridor, they met a couple of Ravenclaw students discussing animatedly. Then, as they passed each other, one of them said, "Hey, do you know what time it is?"

Hermione couldn't help herself. She resisted with all her might against the horrid impulse, but it was a loosing battle. In fact she lost it almost instantly and did not act, but _reacted_, action without thought. Ranma would have been envious at her reaction time.

Her arm instantly rose high into the air, as if to answer a teacher's question. Then she spoke. "It's ten past eleven sir!"

All three teens around stared owlishly at her, the Ravenclaw pair quickly leaving to get away from the weird girl. Ginny stared longer, until Hermione blushed in embarassment. "It's nothing... Really... Just a one-time thing..." she tried to reassure her friend.

Of course, the next five occurences in the following twenty minutes were enough proof to show how big a lie it had been... But who cared?

**EPILOGUE**

After a few weeks of this, things got so bad for the three Gryffindor students that the Housepoint system was suspended for a couple of weeks to force them to relax.

When that didn't work on its own, the three were sent to the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey had her work cut out for her this time. It took her three weeks to settle their conditions.

Harry, Hermione and Ranma eventually recovered, but did not escape unscathed from the whole ordeal.

**Harry Potter**

Harry walked up to Ron to greet him for the first time in several weeks. "Hey Ron!"

Ron looked at Harry wearily before allowing a smile to form. "Hey yourself Harry. How're you doing? Recovered?"

"Yeah! No more walking like I spent my life on a broom, or trying to stretch my arm longer than it is!"

"That's great! So no more acting weird at all?"

Just then, a fly flew around the pair. When it passed near Harry, there was a blur and the insect vanished. Ron gawked as Harry lifted his hand, unclenched his fist and allowed the fly to fly away drunkenly, as if in schock.

Harry just blushed and looked to the side, "Sorry... Stupid conditionned reflex..."

**Hermione Granger**

"So you're finally cured Hermione?" Ginny was glad to see the older girl again. She had been really worried when her friend had gotten to rising her arm all the time to answer every stupid questions. Especially when some morons took advantage of that to ask really embarassing ones.

The bushy haired girl just nodded. No arm went up. "Hm-hm. No more answering every stupid question all the time. But I still got to get back at those jerks."

"You'll let me help?" Ginny asked another question to make sure the other girl's reactions were back to normal.

Hermione shrugged, "Sure, why not?"

The redhead smiled widely, "It's so nice to see you completely alright..."

They passed several groups, most of them asking at least one question while the two girls were within earshot, but Hermione didn't react at all. Ginny was about to release the breath she hadn't realized she had been holding each time she heard someone ask a question, when they walked near a study group.

"Does anyone of you remember how you get that Wiggenvelt potion right?" One asked.

Ginny cringed when Hermione's arm went up with a whip-like sound and she blurted "Youneedtocrushthatrootandadd... Err... forget it, okay?" Hermione quickly fled the place, red as a tomato.

So she wasn't completely out of harm yet... Close enough, right?

**Ranma Saotome**

Ryoga was sparring with Ranma. And he was getting really annoyed at his rival. Okay, so he was dodging around each and everyone of his blows. This wasn't really out of the ordinary in and of itself. It was HOW Ranma was dodging that made the part-time pig seethe in fury.

"RANMA! Will you take me seriously?" the bandanna clad boy bellowed at the top of his lungs.

The target of his ire blinked. "What's your problem P-chan?"

"Will you stop mocking me? Do not triffle with me!"

Ranma sighed, "Will you start making sense Ryoga?"

Ryoga stopped his assault to point accusingly at Ranma. "You're not even paying attention to our fight! You're reading some stupid book!"

"Am not!"

"So what's that in your hand?"

Ranma looked at the charm book he had been reading while dodging his opponent's every attacks as if noticing it for the first time. "Huh? How'd it got here?"

Ryoga facefaulted and groaned from his prone position.

And later, life went on as usual in Hogwarts.

If you're interrested, Gryffindor miraculously won the House cup when Dumbledore awarded fifty points to each of the three martyrs, err... hardworkers. He also awarded fifteen point for each student from Nerima for "making things more lively in Hogwarts."

Most students were really puzzled when the old wizard just collapsed in laughter a few seconds later due to some private joke he refused to share. That he had been looking at the Nerimans right before doing so was dismissed by most everyone...

_**END**_


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